The aim of couples therapy is to resolve problems and find better ways of communication between a couple. It is used to increase effective skills to provide open and positive dialogue with the couple to work together to solve problems. A lot of couples struggle with past trauma, fear and shame they have experienced in childhood, which ends up playing out in the relationship. I work with couples to help process these issues to help guide more effective bonding and connection.

 

Clients may be given homework or tasks, such as conversation topics, to complete between regular sessions. While many therapists will agree to see couples, actual couples therapists have been specifically trained in working with this dynamic. It is an unusual balance, where the therapist must be trusted by both members of the couple. 

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Couples therapy is often perceived as difficult and embarrassing for clients, but having a neutral person assess the situation and give advice on how it could change can be enormously helpful to a couple. People decide to seek counselling for a number of reasons: there may be a change in their situation, such as a betrayal, loss of job, birth of a child, bereavement, communication problems, intimacy and sexual issues, family difficulties, complications of re-constituted families,  which inevitably affects them both. The couple may be considering separation or divorce.

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Close relationships are renowned for triggering old patterns of fear, passivity, rage or anxiety. Each of them will have a template, often unconscious, about what makes a relationship good or bad. 

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Couples therapy is not helpful in domestic violence scenarios. Individuals who engage in Domestic Violence are stuck in a pattern of power and control and couples therapy could inadvertently reinforce the abuse by taking the focus off of the abuse. If you are experiencing domestic violence it's important that you seek help from the National Domestic Violence Hotline (TheHotLine.Org).
 

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